I have done this before.
Not the part about being a pastor during a pandemic, deciding if spiritual care justifies driving during a state of emergency, or how to encourage a congregation of 80 in gatherings of ten people or less.
I have worked late into the night after kids are asleep to get housework done because the day was full of helping them learn, getting healthy food into their bellies, and showing them how to be kind.
I’ve risen early, almost every day, to get my heart on straight before little feet hit the floor and run to where the food is already on the table.
I’ve escaped into the bathroom for a few minutes of sanity between question #98 and #107. (I ignored #99-106, feigning being unable to hear above the sound of the toilet flushing.
I’ve wondered if there was any life our identity outside of being mom—a homeschooling mom.
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While schools are closed and moms and dads who also have jobs and responsibilities outside the home now being done IN the home, I thought it might be comforting to know there is someone who has some understanding of what your life is. You can run a full-scale company overhaul but can’t access the part of your brain that learned how to multiply fractions.
It’s going to be OK. You’re going to make it through. I promise. Life will be tough, sure, but some of what makes life hard is also going to be the glue that will weather future storms and hold you all together better than a perfect spring break trip.
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I didn’t intend to teach our boys at home for more than a few years, but it turned into a K-12 season. Maybe some of what I discovered will encourage you in the weeks to come.
- Getting an answer correct is not as important as having a right attitude—and that starts with the parent/teacher. You probably don’t remember how to multiply fractions and a lot of other things you learned in school, but I’m sure at least one character lesson from your childhood continues to shape who you are today.
- Having a schedule communicates expectations and provides a safety framework. If everyone has a basic idea of what needs to happen when, instability fades into ownership. This may take a week or two to figure out but keep working on it—you will find your family’s rhythm.
- Comparing yourself, your children, or your family’s experience to others (who seem to be nailing it) will make you feel inadequate and prove to yourself you are a failure. Don’t compare yourself to the glowing social posts of your friends’ incredible moments! They do have great days—and their own unique struggles, which they probably won’t memorialize by taking a photo, never mind by posting it.
- Being flexible communicates grace better than an apology after an angry explosion. Your kids are trying to find their new normal just as much as you are. They need your firm guidance, and loving understanding. These are not mutually exclusive. Check your short fuse at your front door. Use coping strategies to tone down your emotions. Someone must be the parent.
- Making it through the day is a world-class achievement in this season, and a season always gives way to another. Get through each day and a new season will come. I promise.
You are amazing – and you have great kids. They are some of God’s most precious gifts, and he gave them to you. With his help he knows you can do this. Because I know that is true, I believe in you.
If you want to chat, I’m here.